USWNT Coach Emma Hayes Said She Wants Her Team to ‘Suffer.’ It’s Just Part Of Her Brilliant Plan to Win an Olympic Gold Medal

You don't usually think of a good coach as someone who intentionally tries to make their team suffer. More importantly, you don't think of a good coach as someone who actually wants their team to suffer. 

Sure, there are plenty of stories of very tough coaches, many of whom were incredibly successful, but that's different from wanting them to suffer. The best coaches are demanding, and expect perfection from their teams, but generally aren't out to hurt the people they lead. That type of leadership isn't usually the kind of thing that makes a team feel great about their coach. 

Emma Hayes, the new coach of the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team, was hired with one objective--return the most storied international women's soccer program to its former glory. To do that, she says she wants her team to "suffer." 

"I don't want them to be better," Hayes told The Athletic after the team won its semifinal game against Germany. "Truthfully. I want them to suffer. And I thought we suffered a hell of a lot today. Good."

Twice now, however, the outcome of a game has been determined by which team has more in the tank after playing more than 100 minutes of soccer. Twice, that team has been the U.S., scoring game-winning goals during extra time. Those wins have put the team into the gold medal game for the first time since 2012. For a team that dominated women's soccer for most of two decades, that is an excruciatingly long time. 

Hayes has faced criticism over her decision to stick with the same starting lineup and sub only sparingly. The Olympics is already a brutal schedule for soccer, with teams playing on only two days rest between games. When those games go an extra 30 minutes, already tired legs are forced to dig deep or go home.

That, it turns out, is the point. Hayes doesn't want her team to suffer because she's a mean person who wants to inflict pain. She wants her team to win, and she knows that won't happen if her team doesn't find a way to play through the point of pain--when they don't think they have anything left. She knows they won't win if they don't believe they are worthy of the crest they wear.

"I've said this all along -- the reason I want to play the team together for as long as possible is because I want them to develop that," Hayes says. "I want them to suffer. I want them to have that moment because I do not believe you can win without it."

The thing is, her team is entirely bought in. Her strategy is working, and it's largely because --despite the fact that Hayes is brutally honest about what it's going to take--her team wants to play for her. They trust her, and they trust her plan, and they're willing to dig deeper than they might have in the past--even when it hurts.

"We're a different team since she's come in," said Sophia Smith. "She's so hilarious and chill and funny, and I feel like that's exactly what we needed. We have the players, we have the talent, we just needed someone to come in and believe in us and put us in the best position to succeed."

Leadership--I've said many times--is almost entirely about influence, which is mostly about trust. It's about building a relationship and earning the trust of those you lead, which gives you the chance to influence how they perform. If you're a coach, the trust of your team is the most valuable thing you can have. 

The lesson here is pretty simple: Hayes is pushing her team past what they thought was their breaking point to prove that they have more. She is building up a team that has been beaten down, both on the field and in the way they view themselves, and turning them into champions. With a chance at a gold medal, they're about to find out whether it will work.