My Intern Keeps Pushing For a Full-Time Role

I recently took on my first intern. I let them know from the get-go that I didn’t know if it could evolve into permanent work given the current work pipeline. They are ambitious, smart, and eager to learn, and I have done my best to give them “real world” learning experiences so they make their resume look great.

All of that is good except a few weeks in, I am getting constant questions from them about potential employment. I have told them that if all goes well and I have the means, I’d love to hire them but I don’t have the ability to answer that right now. I understand why someone interning would want to know their chances for a job, but I have been totally transparent and the constant questions are starting to test my patience.

I feel as though, this early, they really should be focusing on learning and making the most of the opportunity, rather than focusing on jumping to the next step right away. They are starting to apply for full-time roles, which is excellent, but these roles are rather senior (and I don’t have to heart to say, are way above their experience level). It’s also confirming my suspicions that this person feels they’ve learnt the entire industry in a few weeks. They’re a great intern other than this, and I’m trying to help, but how do I get them to chill out and just focus while they’re on the job? I don’t want to be a jerk, but I am losing my patience.

If you say that and it continues anyway: “I’ve tried to be clear that this isn’t a conversation I’m in a position to have until at least August. Knowing that’s the case — and that we won’t be able to keep having this conversation over and over until then — are you still up for continuing in the internship?”

About the senior jobs they’re applying for, it would be a kindness to say, “Can I give you some thoughts about the job market and what roles you’re most likely to get interviews for? The roles you’re applying for are typically looking for experience like ____. At your level of experience, just starting out, I’d look at jobs like X and Y.” You could add, “I don’t want to discourage you, just want to give you some context that might help if you’re not getting interviews for those.”

I’m a mid-level manager and my boss is senior. Unfortunately, he is a yeller. He yells on the phone most often and sometimes I am on these conference calls with him. These calls can be with vendors, contractors, or other colleagues at our headquarters—all may evoke a yelling spell.

I am growing increasingly concerned that his poor behavior is reflecting on me and going to impact my relationships with a range of people, that the tone he sets may be perceived as being one I share/support.

I thought about calling my colleagues to apologize after one such incident, but I do not want that to come across as going behind my boss’ back. He isn’t a bad person and makes good points, but his communication is atrocious. He is aware of it to an extent and even apologizes to me sometimes after hanging up the phone, but he keeps doing it.

As long as you’re polite and professional, people aren’t likely to think you endorse your boss’s behavior. If you’re a jerk too, then yes — they’ll think you’re both cut from the same cloth. But as long as you’re polite or, better yet, actively kind, they’re not going to think you condone it. They’re more likely to figure you’re embarrassed by him, since most people would be, and/or feel sorry for you having to work closely with someone who can’t control himself.

I think you’re right not to call people back and apologize on his behalf. You’re not the one with anything to apologize for, and you’re not responsible for the behavior of someone above you. Besides, just being scrupulously kind will convey all the distancing in the world from him.

However, there might be some room to nudge your boss on it. When he apologizes to you after hanging up the phone, you might be able to say, “I’m fine, but would it make sense to tell them that? I think they were taken aback when you yelled.”

For both coworkers and clients, I have been reaching out as soon as I hear the news about the layoff (usually via LinkedIn) with a brief private message to say that I’m sorry to hear the news, have enjoyed working with them, and hope we’ll work together in future. (The message is personalized with specifics about what I most appreciated about working with them, etc.)

Is that the right approach? Or should I be waiting a week or two before reaching out? I recently came across a LinkedIn posting from one laid-off colleague that suggested they were still reeling from the layoff three weeks after it happened, which made me feel as though sending a message right away might be too much too soon.

I think you’re fine either way. I wouldn’t do it in, say, the same hour as their layoff, because at that point they may not even process your message, and you might be adding to an already overwhelming situation. But later that day or that week are all fine. While it’s true that people can still be reeling weeks later, that doesn’t mean you can’t contact them earlier (and certainly no one wants to be sitting around a few days after their layoff and have heard nothing from anyone).

However, they often want to connect to me, and I’m not okay with that. I don’t know these people or necessarily want my own LinkedIn connections and network to become part of theirs. I’ve been quietly ignoring their requests. But should I be either more receptive (on the grounds that, as recruiters, they obviously have lots of connections to jobs) or less receptive, and tell them up front I don’t connect to recruiters unless we have an ongoing business relationship (or some other substantial reason)?

Some people are sticklers about only connecting on LinkedIn to people they know or have worked with. And that’s fine! But other people connect to anyone who seems like it might be useful to have in their networks, and most recruiters work like that. If you don’t want to receive leads from recruiters on LinkedIn, I’d just ignore the connection request rather than telling them you won’t connect without a better reason, as the latter is likely to come across as a little prickly and out of touch with how they operate.