7 Powerful Communication Skills That Separate the Best Leaders From All the Rest

What separates extraordinary leaders from those who aren’t so great? What do the most respected leaders have in common? Research shows that leaders spend more than 75 percent of their time communicating, and extraordinary leaders have developed powerful communication skills as part of their personal leadership practices.

Which leads to this question: What communication skills do these highly successful leaders consistently use? The answers reflect both science and art. The best leaders have high self-awareness and are flexible, adaptable, and balanced between chaos and stability. They are acutely aware that they must first manage themselves if they hope to successfully communicate with others.

The most successful leaders courageously open themselves up to others. It takes equal measures of confidence and humility to be vulnerable. Vulnerability in turn creates safety, liberating the organization from battles for survival to help them unleash their innate creativity, drive, and self-organization. Top executives refuse to hide behind polite discomfort, creating safety for others to openly offer differing views.

Top leaders don’t pay as much attention to the words themselves as they do to the emotion behind the message. Identifying the underlying emotion eliminates the defense or pretenses and helps them quickly cut through all the noise that stands between them and the core issues at play.

The best leaders take responsibility for their own emotions. Therefore, they never blame others for how they feel. As masters of their own emotions, they consciously decide how they will feel and how they will react. By practicing focused awareness, Leaders avoid blaming and accusing others by not projecting onto others their own leftover negative mental models from past experiences.

When listening, great leaders don’t get triggered by assigning their own meaning to what others say and react automatically. They can imagine what it must be like for the other person by stepping into their shoes.

At the same time, they are comfortable in their own skin and therefore do not attempt to please others. When a team member states, “I don’t feel fulfilled in my job,” the leader doesn’t hear, “You are a bad leader.” Instead, they hear, “I need help.” This ability to be grounded creates safety for others and allows their reality to exist with equal merit as their own.

While listening for emotions, leaders are open to and curious about all possibilities. If a colleague comes across as irrational, ridiculous, or overreacting, the best leaders become curious and carefully explore what is happening deeper without jumping to a conclusion.

They know that judgment shuts off avenues for important discovery and learning. During this discovery, they can put aside their own emotions and pay focused attention. They can empathically imagine what must have happened for others to create the reality that comes across as irrational and validate that reality for them.

Leaders have one ear on what others are saying (content) and the other on the interaction pattern (process). They are constantly scanning themselves, people, and processes to identify patterns and changes in the patterns.

Through this constant, unbiased observation, the best leaders notice early indicators of an underlying issue. They then use their judgment-free curiosity to discover the source and manage it proactively.

Highly successful leaders know their most important job is to create safety and belonging in their organization, which sets members free to unleash their innate creativity, innovation, passion, and drive. Whether delivering an address to the entire organization—or within a one-on-one meeting—they convey a sense of community and belonging.

Great leaders protect and nurture their people under their wings. Top executives create a culture that does not tolerate behaviors that threaten that sense of safety and belonging, such as bullying, kingdom building, or favoritism.